What comes after
by KittyCharles
Summary: A year after Edward's departure, Bella needs someone more than ever. An unexpected twist leads her to her destiny, with love, sadness and hilarity along the way. i'm crap at summaries. I promise it's at least better than it sounds lol .Rated M just in c.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: So this is an old fic that I discovered again today. It was put together much the same way as my one shot was...notes in margins and on the backs of receipts, even a handful of scribbles on my iPod touch's notes function. I think it's not fabulous...but i'm willing to share it with anyone willing to take a chance. It's far fetched at times, and insanely normal at others (mundanely so), and if you're not into non-canon, as I always say, get outta here. I'm quite happy making my own little world. Thanks to SM for theinspiration tho. :) Enjoy. (if you don't, please just go quietly. I'm not up for harsh criticisms lol.)

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I stood by the window a long time, my heart telling me that something, someone was out there. My brain on the other hand was telling me I was being dumb, he was gone, and he most certainly would not be back. It had been a year, a cold, harsh, long year, in which I'd only seen Alice, my best friend, three times. I'd seen Carlisle a few times, he was slowly picking up extra shifts at the hospital, and Charlie's worries about me meant I couldn't switch off completely. I felt the tears pushing at my eyes, the heat flush my face, and I moved away, curling up on my bed and pulling the blankets over my head. It still couldn't drown out the hurt, the betrayal. All of them had left me that day, not just him. True, Alice had been back, and so was Carlisle, but even they had only returned because of a sense of duty. Alice, because she felt guilty for not telling me, and Carlisle, well, he was a doctor. It would have been selfish of him to shut himself away from all of his patients because of what He had done to Me. I let the tears fall silently at first, trying to calm my breathing, and remain quiet until I knew, was absolutely positive, that Charlie was out cold. When I was sure, I buried my face into the mattress, head under the pillow, and let the tears come hard, and fast, and hot across my cheeks, soaking into my sheets, tasting salty on my lips. The sobs racked my body, I shook and convulsed with emotion and with uncontrollable tension.

I usually cried like this for hours, often until just before Charlie stirred to go to work, and then went through my day in a zombie trance, not caring how I looked, or how my eyes weren't really focusing on anything specific. My grades hadn't suffered, if anything, they'd improved, since all I did was go to school, do my homework, and then retreat to bed, where I could let everything flow freely. This particular night, while I was sobbing my heart out, I felt a familiar nudge. Not physically, just aimed at my emotions. For half a second, I felt the grief lessen, but I shook the feeling off. I was imagining things, things I wished would be real, but never would be again. I sobbed another time, my eyes were swollen, my nose red, I could feel my tongue thick and heavy in my mouth. There it was again, that nudge. This time, it was harder, more forceful, pointed even. I laughed crazily at myself even as the tears continued to flow. Charlie was right, I'd lost my mind. He would never hear me argue my sanity again, I was nuts.

None of them had stayed, there was no way he was here. I sighed, and just as the newest wave of sorrow hit me, it softened at the edges. I could almost physically feel it now, the emotion was halved in intensity. I took a few breaths, sneaking my eyes above the quilt, trying to see in my pitch black room. Just as I was about to get out of bed and tell Charlie to commit me of my own free will, a slender, tall, familiar shape stepped into the moonlight, which glistened on his sparkly skin and golden hair. "Jasper?" I whispered, half from fear of waking Charlie, and half from the fear that if I spoke too loudly, I would wake from whatever dream this was. He smiled, "Bella." I felt a wave of calm wash over me again, and then again, finally, I began to feel peaceful and sleepy. "Jasper…..how are you even…..I'm nuts." He chuckled softly, moving closer, sitting on the chair by the end of the bed, "Isabella, you're not. Sleep now, darlin', we can talk in the morning." I suddenly felt so sleepy I could hardly open my eyes, and I whispered sternly to him, "Jasper, this is unfair." I heard him smile in the dark, and after that I let it swallow me up, taking me to a peaceful place I'd rarely been in those months.

The sun felt like it would burn holes in my eyelids, and I snapped my eyes open. The clock read nine am, Charlie was well and truly gone to work, but I was late to school also. I sighed, pulling the blankets above my head again. As I prepared to sob , my morning ritual, I felt that push, the nudge, and I drew my breath in sharply, "Jasper? You're really here?" I began to cry in earnest now, one of them had finally come back to bring me news. He patted my hand, and sighed, "Darlin', I wish I had news for you, but I don't. Carlisle was afraid you'd lose your mind without some help, and he couldn't convince Charlie to keep you here under supervision. Isabella, you would have been committed to an institution in Arizona if you didn't start improving." I let the tears fall, appreciative that he was giving me this. I needed to feel something, anything.

I gripped his hand tightly in mine, and relaxed as his other gently stroked my cheek, cooling the heat from the tears. My voice was small, whispering, as I spoke, "Jasper…are you….will you….don't…..leave." I looked up at him through soaked lashes, my eyes big, dark pools of fear and sadness. He shook his head, brushing hair from my eyes, "Isabella Swan, I am not going anywhere." His lips barely moved, but I swore I'd heard more, "I'll never go anywhere as long as you're here darlin'." I blushed, but he ignored it, instead glancing around my room. I was mortified, and began to ramble, "Well….first, I couldn't trust Charlie with my laundry, and you know how Alice likes to bring new clothes all the time, and it was so long between when I had time to…." He held his finger to my lips, it was hard, and cold, but incredibly tender, I felt embarrassed thinking this about my friends husband. "Bella…shhhh. I know, you've had a lot going on. How about you go shower, clean yourself up a little. Your hair….it's…..it looks….." He simply grimaced at me, and I could only imagine what he could see. "But I should clean a little…." "No, I'll tidy up while you tidy yourself up. No arguments." I got out of bed, and I almost managed to ignore the gasp that Jasper let out when he saw my emaciated form. "Bella….no. You poor poor…..oh god. That….that bastard." I felt my heart fill with rage, and then suddenly calm again. Jasper looked embarrassed, "I'm sorry darlin'. I'll keep a better hold in the future. I nodded, then, just as I went to the doorway, I stopped, "Jasper?" "Yes?" "Is Alice….is she back?" Jasper's eyes flashed black a moment, his face was sad, and then, instantly happy, "No dear. Alice…..Alice and I are spending some time apart." I nodded, unsure what that meant.

Dressed in jeans and a white thermal tee, I pulled a comb through my wet, tangled, snarly hair and managed to style it into some kind of human looking thing. As a second thought, I braided it and flung it over my shoulder. My room was completely different when I returned. My dirty laundry was in the hamper, a load was already in the washer (I could hear the familiar thud of the spinner) and Jasper had changed my bed sheets. He smiled at me, "That looks much better. Now, you've missed school, or, as good as, today. What would you like to do?" I shrugged, and he smiled again, "Do you have warm clothes?" "How warm?" "Like….something you'd wear on snow day."

JPOV

I knew from the past that Bella got cold quickly, especially around us, and as much as it was a warm day for fall, I also knew that there was a fierce wind, and likely rain. She disappeared into her closet, emerging wearing a soft grey knit hoodie, a fur lined black jacket, and a pair of grey gloves. "Do you still have the jacket Al….uh,….we gave you last year?" She nodded, holding it up. It was miniscule, and it was at that moment that I fully understood what Alice had been going through. Even as early as the year before, she had known this day would come. "Think Charlie will let you out on my bike?" She shrugged, "Can't be worse than missing school…..But…Jasper….I might….might need some help." "Help Isabella?" She blushed, "I've never been on a bike before."

I smiled, following her down through the house and out the door, to where my bike now sat in the drive. I handed her the second helmet, then waited patiently for her to settle behind me on the seat before taking off slowly along the roads. As we picked up a little speed I felt her pull closer to me, snuggle her body up against mine, and I cursed myself for what would eventually happen. I could only keep my feelings hidden from her for so long, before I would accidentally slip up and send her some of whatever I happened to feel at that time.

BPOV

The bike was thrilling. As we got faster, I pulled in closer to Jasper, certain it would help me stay on, and that he would keep me safe. Even though I knew it was impossible, it felt like his body was warm through our clothes, the way he shifted to accommodate my shape, patted my thigh reassuringly as we wound a tight corner up the mountain, and then I blushed. I was feeling incredibly lustful at that point. True, I'd been thinking some things I should never have thought, but it had hit me like a tidal wave, and then, just as quickly, gone, replaced by calm and good nature. We slowed down I the middle of nowhere, Jasper parked the bike and helped me from the back, before taking my hand in his and leading me down a narrow, dirt path going between the dense trees.

JPOV

I'd almost given myself away on the bike there. Luckily, I felt it slip from me before it got too bad, in fact, perhaps Bella had hardly noticed my feelings at all. It was now, amongst the trees, in the dense, intimidating forest, while she clung to my hand, that I felt them again, stronger, harder to keep to myself. We came out into a clearing, and then I led her to the point at the left, where there were three large boulders, and a smooth, long rock.

She looked out over everything, standing there on the flat rock, amongst the bigger, upright ones. I could tell she was awed, she hadn't said a word, but her emotions told all. "It's so…..untouched, perfectly….beautiful. Jasper….thank you." She turned to me then, stumbling as she went, and I caught her in my arms, our faces barely inches apart. Her breath was sweet, enticing, much as ours must seem to humans. Her eyes were wide, waiting, her lips parting ever so gently in a sub-conscious preparation for the kiss to come. I had to, it was my one shot. Alice had told me I would know when it arrived. I pulled her in closer to me, and softly, gently, placed my lips on hers, feeling electricity shoot between us as she kissed me in return, pressing her warm, soft body against mine. It was then that I was sure Alice had been right, she was, indeed, my true soul mate.

Bella kissed me back, for what seemed like hours we stayed like that, until she pulled back a little, tears in her eyes, "Jasper….we…..I….oh god." Her face had paled, her voice shaky. I knew there was fear behind the tears, and I tried to send her come calming waves. She bit her lip, accepting the handkerchief I offered gingerly, like it might burn her. Just then my cell rang, and I cursed it under my breath. I looked at her, and she nodded, "Go ahead." she whispered, dabbing uselessly at the tears streaming down her cheeks.

I walked a little away from her, "Alice? Did you have to call right now?" I was hesitant,, I hadn't explained everything to Bella yet, and I didn't know what Alice had wanted. She laughed, and when I heard it, that sound that used to turn my heart spinning, I knew things had really changed. I no longer felt that way, in fact, I couldn't find enough excuses to get off the phone and to my Bella. She laughed again, "Jasper? She loves you. She's confused. She'll spend the rest of the day thinking she's hurt me, and crying, and I don't want her to do that anymore, so put her on the phone. I want to explain to her." "Alice….I don't think….I mean….I think you should talk to her face to face." "Jasper, alright. She'll be awkward on the trip home, but don't press her. She'll understand, and she'll stay. I can see you in her room tonight, so things should go well." I sighed, "Alice…..I don't want to hurt her….but I think I might have…" "Nonsense. She'll come round. See you soon." She clicked off, and it was then I noticed Bella had been watching me the entire time.

"Bella….darlin, Alice wants us to go home. She's got something she wants to do with you." She nodded, her eyes blank and her hands shaky as she stood, following me back along the path. She tripped and fell twice, and when I righted her, both times, she was stiff in my arms. It was just before we got back onto my bike that she broke, "Jasper! I can't…..I just….Alice is my best friend, how could we do that? She'll never forgive me…never…..and then I'll lose her….." Her eyes were wide with fear again, and she dropped to her knees, crying, sobbing, "And then you'll leave…..and Carlisle. You'll all leave, and it'll be all my fault. Again….you'll leave…..leave me…..and you promised me….." She was sitting on her heels, head touching the damp earth, and all I could do was try to soothe her. I rubbed her back, speaking softly to her, calmly, "Isabella, darlin….none of us are going anywhere. I promise you. I don't break promises dear, especially not to you. Bella….sugar, Alice just wants to tell you about some things she's seen…..some things she knows. I think…I think you should hear her out." Bella was still sobbing, "Oh my god. Alice will know already what we did….what I've done….I've betrayed her."

Once her sobbing started calming, I could see she was still shaky. "Bella…listen to me. Alice and I, we aren't…..we're not…well….we haven't been together in quite some time. Darlin….Alice and I….you've done nothing. Nothing wrong, at all. Isabella, there was nothing to betray." She looked at me then, a sudden clarity in her eyes, "You and Alice…..not….? I thought maybe you were just…taking a break….." Her eyes were still full of fear, but the color was slowly returning to her cheeks, and I kissed her forehead, hugging her to me, "No darlin, we decided the best thing was to be apart, for good." I sighed, "But now, we need to get back so Alice can explain some things to you, and I know she's excited to talk. I promise you sugar, she wants nothing but for you to be happy." She nodded, allowing me to clip her helmet on, and then she clung to me, like a monkey, all the way home.

BPOV

Back at the house I ran inside, up the stairs to my room. I hadn't even said a word to Jasper, but I knew I'd find Alice there. I fell at her feet, my hands in her lap, and the tears struggled to stay inside as I spoke, "Alice…..Alice I'm so sorry. Even if you and Jasper aren't together anymore….I should never have…..it was wrong. I let my feelings…it doesn't matter why, but I'm so sorry. Please don't leave." She laughed, Alice actually laughed, and lifted my chin, "Bella Swan, you're a conundrum in yourself. I saw all of this, all of it Bella, before it even happened. I knew Jasper would find his soul mate in you, I knew you would fall in love with him. I knew he and I would fall out of love before I'd even made the choice. Bella please…..don't be sorry. I'm very happy for you, for both of you." I looked up and she was, indeed, smiling cheerfully. "Bella….for many reasons, you two need to be together. Have to be in fact, because I can never see any alternative, no matter what choices the two of you might think of making." I wiped my eyes, using jasper's handkerchief, and she smiled, patting my hair, "Now, listen. You're a mess. Go shower, I'll get some clothes and bring them in, then we can get to work on this tangle you call hair."

JPOV

I didn't contact Bella again that day, but when I knew Charlie would be sleeping, I gently crept in through her window, and sat in the chair. It was ten minutes before she stirred, "Jasper? Are you here?" The happiness in her voice made me smile, "Yes darlin." She nodded, smiling sleepily, "Good. Come here. It's hard to sleep." I sat gingerly on the edge of the bed, and kissed her cheek as I began to stroke her hair, "Goodnight Isabella. Sweet Dreams." She smiled, mumbling in her sleep, "They will be….Alice already said so." I lay beside her, stroking her hair, for that whole night. The afternoon played through my mind over and over, and I was afraid of her reaction in the morning when she woke.

BPOV

When Charlie came to say goodbye, I wondered where Jasper had gone, if he'd even really been there, or if I'd imagined it. Before Charlie left my room, my hand closed around something soft, fuzzy. Jasper's scarf, I knew it instantly. I tucked it under my pillow and pretended to listen to Charlie and his grocery requests.

I sighed, relieved, when I heard the cruiser drive down the road. "Jazz?" He stepped out from behind my closet door, smiling, "Good Mornin' darlin." I smiled, "You did come." He nodded, beaming, "I did. So, do you need help with the grocery store today?" I groaned, it was NOT what I felt like. What I felt like was sitting around watching TV, or reading, something I could do knowing Jasper was quietly sitting nearby. I threw back the covers, revealing my tank top and boy shorts, and blushed as I felt the level of lust rise in the room a hundredfold. Jasper diverted his gaze, and I spoke softly, "Just give me a couple of human moments. I'll meet you downstairs."

After my shower, I was grateful for Alice having done my hair the afternoon before. All I had to do was pull a brush through and slip a head band on, the waves fell perfectly, giving me one less thing to worry about. I giggled to myself as I put on the Victoria's Secret lingerie she'd given me, no way was anyone going to see it, but she was right, it would make me feel better about myself. I was beginning to realise just how much weight I'd lost, just how emaciated I must look to everyone around me. I pulled on the bootleg jeans she'd bought, they fit like a glove, and then the new Henley thermal. I pulled on my favorite hoodie then, slipping my thumbs through the loops, and looking in the mirror. There was no way I could improve anymore without cosmetic help, and I refused.

Jasper was in the kitchen, cooking, when I arrived downstairs. He smiled sheepishly, like a deer in headlights, and held up the bowl of steaming oatmeal, "Sorry Bella. I just…..you need to eat." I smiled at him, glad he'd given me a small serving, and finished quickly. "Jasper, it's alright. You don't need to come shopping, honest." He looked a little hurt, so I smiled again, "If you don't have anything else to do though….." He nodded, "I don't. Besides…I think it will be a novelty darlin, to see how a supermarket really works these days." I couldn't' help but giggle, and then I slipped on something as I made my way to the sink. He caught me, expertly, in his strong hands, and hugged me to him, "Bella, be careful. I don't want to think how I might feel if…..if you were hurt." I blushed, nervously pulling free and taking money from the housekeeping jar, "Are you ready?"

JPOV

The drive to the grocery store was awkward, Bella was a little cool toward me, I'd embarrassed her at the house. She'd insisted on taking her truck, saying she had no desire to be driven somewhere when she had arms and legs that were perfectly fine. When she hit her head in the carpark, reaching for her phone which had fallen on the floor, I instinctively touched her cheeks, kissing her forehead, looking into her eyes. I knew then, how intoxicated she was with me, her eyes closed involuntarily and she leant forward, ready to kiss me. I took advantage of the situation, taking her in my arms and kissing her with as much passion and love as I could manage without overwhelming her. We were that way for five or ten minutes, before her cell phone rang, interrupting us. If I could have blushed I would have, when she answered, "Hi Charlie..No….I'm just in Port Angeles for food. No, it's alright. They have a better selection here. You did? Oh…..okay then. No, it's alright, really. I'll leave dinner in the over for you, no, no problem. Bye Charlie." She looked at me, "We should shop." I nodded, knowing if we stayed in that small space much longer, I couldn't be held accountable for my actions.


	2. Chapter 2

BPOV

After we'd put everything away, Jasper wanted me to tell him about the photographs in my room. I smiled as I told him about Angela, about my mother Renee, and Phil, her husband. Charlie and I when I was small, Jacob and I playing at the reservation when I was a baby. When I lingered a little on the photograph taken at my birthday party, Alice and I grinning into the camera like fools, I felt Jasper's cool, reassuring hands on my shoulders. He turned me to face him, his hand gently on my chin, eyes full of apology, whispering as he leant in, "Darlin'….I will never leave you again. I swear on my family's honor." I felt my eyes brim with tears, touched, and then everything fell away as I was washed with lust, and affection, and the feeling of Jasper's electric lips on my own.

Hours later we lay on my bed, looking out the window. I'd cooked dinner, Charlie's put aside for when he eventually made it home after a double shift. Jasper's hand lazily traced patterns on my bare stomach, my Henley lifted just enough to give him that freedom. My hand, and head, were resting on his bare chest. At my insistence, at some point, he'd let me unbutton his shirt.

Suddenly, he began to kiss me again, his hand gently on my stomach, the other holding him above me. I felt my hands tangle in his hair, and as he lay closer to me, I felt my body arch a little to be closer to his. It was a while, but his hand eventually found its way further up my shirt, my hands figured out how to get him out of his, and my hands had destroyed his hair. Only when he flew off of me, taking cover behind my closet door, did I realise Charlie was coming up the stairs to check on me. I pulled the covers over me, closing my eyes, and waited.

It didn't take long, I heard him heating his dinner, then back to his bedroom. After ten or fifteen minutes, Jasper reappeared, his shirt rebuttoned, his hair smoothed down. His voice dripped with want, "Bella….you'll be the death of me." I smiled, "Hold me." His eyes looked torn, and then he shook his head, "No Bells. You need to sleep, and I….I can't keep giving off lust like this in your house. Charlie will think something's wrong with him." I blanched at the idea, and Jasper softly kissed my lips, "But I will stay here, in the chair. Alice has something planned for tomorrow darlin, so sleep well. I won't leave you."

In the morning, Alice was there, Jasper kissing me goodbye after making Alice promise not to take too much out of me during our shopping spree.

At lunch, Alice took my hand, and hugged me with her free arm, "Bella….it's alright. If it makes you feel any better, he feels exactly the same way." She was quiet, then looked at me seriously, "But Bells….listen. Everything Edward ever worried about….about the physical side of things…..those are very real fears for Jasper as well. And while I can't see you getting hurt…be careful. Bella…sex is a powerful thing, even for humans, but throw a vampire with Empath abilities into the mix….and who knows what could happen?" I was blushing, positive a million people had heard what she was saying, and she patted my hand, "Now, I'll drop it there, because I trust you've already had the sex talk?" I nodded, mortified. Alice, my best friend, my big sister if you will, wanted to talk about my sex life with her ex partner.

Life couldn't get weirder, surely. She grinned, "Oh good. Because best friends talk about that stuff, and I can't imagine not having you in my life Bella!" She swung my hand in glee, and for a few short-lived seconds I felt secure in her sacrifice for me. For us, really. She stopped then, and looked at me, very seriously, "Whatever you do….don't make an issue out of it at home. Emmett and Carlisle love you to pieces, as does Esme, but Rosalie….well….as vicious as she is towards Edward, imagine what she'd do with the information." I nodded, my happy day was slowly coming down again.

While she was forcing me into tens of pairs of jeans, Alice smiled, "You know…..I wasn't sure. I mean, you, I can see you clearly, all the time, you never waver in where you're going. But Jazz…..for months I haven't been able to see his path clearly at all. I guess, now, I know why. But I was scared, the day I discovered what would happen. I was afraid you wouldn't want me around you, that you might even push us away at first. I'm so very happy Bella!" I hugged her, then stepped back to show her the pair of jeans I'd tried on. They fit so closely that I was afraid they were indecent, but Alice declared them a success, "To die for. Now, there's another pair I want you to show me….and then, I promise, I'm done with the jeans."

After we'd bought five pairs, no kidding, of jeans, we moved on to shirts. Alice was enjoying my newly small frame, it was perfect for layering. She giggled as she watched me layer a cami, then a long sleeve Henley, then a deep v tee, topped with a thin cashmere hoodie, "What?" She shook her head, still giggling, "You. You look hot. Jasper's going to have a hard time when he sees you. I suppose it's good though, you won't get cold too fast." I blushed, returning to the comfort of behind the dressing room curtain.

Shoes were next, I was surprised when Alice agreed to let me choose a pair of sneakers, and a pair of cool cowboy boots amongst the heels she'd picked out. Finally, two jackets. One, I was absolutely in love with. It was blue, and it reminded me so much of the color of the sky where jasper had taken me. The second, a thick outdoors hiking jacket was not something I would have picked from Alice. She'd simply smiled at me, "You'll appreciate it when the time comes."

At home that night, Alice had already stashed my clothes in my closet, and I'd stayed downstairs to cook for Charlie. I hadn't spoken to Jasper all day, and there was the strangest feeling, in my stomach and my chest when I thought about that. It hadn't occurred to me to ask for his cell number, he'd simply been by my side so much. Charlie pulled into the driveway just as I decided to go to my room for my phone, I'd call Alice, ask for the number. I saw a flash of light hair zip into my closet, and I whispered, "Jasper?" He emerged, smiling, and pulled me into a warm embrace, kissing my head, "Bella. I've missed you." I nodded, "Charlie….." My eyes were sad, and he kissed me quickly, "He's coming upstairs. Take your time, I'm reading." "You'll be here when I come back up?" He nodded, letting my hand go, "Of course. Can't think of anywhere better darlin."

I felt my heart thump double time as I went back to the kitchen, Charlie already set up at the table with a cold beer and a cheestik to snack on, "Hey Bells. Smells good." I smiled, and blushed when Charlie spoke again, "Bells? You're as skittish as a baby deer. Some boy in town got your eye?" I blushed again, more deeply, "No dad, nobody in town. Dinner's ready." I set down the plate of chicken and vegetables in front of him, then took a seat with mine, "So….how was today?" Charlie seemed interested, I tried hard to sound genuine, "Alice took me out. We just went to the mall. How was work?" He shrugged, sipping his beer, "Well….ah hell Bella. Somebody's hunting way too close to the limits here. Nothing's endangered, yet, but I just wish we knew who so we could knock on their door and give em a friendly reminder." I nodded, and a sudden sinking feeling in my stomach. Jasper. I'd bet almost everything I had, that it was in a way my fault too. He hadn't been going far to hunt, since I'd wanted him near, and, being Fall, not much would have been around anyway.

"Hey…Dad, umm….since Alice is back now, is it okay if I go stay with her on the weekend? I mean, if you're going fishing….I figured I'd be better with her than alone." Charlie smiled, "Sounds like a wonderful idea Bells. Let me ring Carlisle after dinner to make sure it's okay." I nodded, trying to hide the fear that maybe Alice hadn't said anything to Carlisle yet.

We watched TV after dinner, Charlie called Carlisle, and it was getting late. I feigned a few yawns until Charlie got the hint, and rose from his chair, "Alright Bells. I'm off to bed. I'm leaving early tomorrow to meet with some guys out at Mill Point, so I won't be here when you get up." He looked thoughtful a moment, then sighed, "Look, I know you probably don't want me to rag on you about it but….some brochures have been coming from colleges already. Just…do me a favor, and at least give them a once over. For me Bells." I nodded, happy to agree to anything, even water torture, if it meant I'd get up to my room faster.

I stayed down there cleaning dishes up until I figured he'd be asleep, and then I tiptoed up to my room, twisting my hair into a ponytail as I entered. Jasper looked pained, and I whispered, "What?" He reached for my hands, letting my hair fall loose again, "I like it better this way." I smiled, letting him sweep me up into his arms, happy to rest safely in them as we sat in front of my closed window, looking at the stars, "Isabella…..today was just terrible. I'd really rather not go through it again." I looked at him, "Through what?" He kissed me, "Being without you….without this. I think, if you and Alice plan to go on many more shopping trips, I might have to learn to enjoy shopping." I smiled, tracing his jaw gently, "No….please. I'm sure we out-shopped even Alice today. But I don't want to do the being apart thing for long again either."

I froze then, "Jasper? School's coming…" he nodded, "I know. We'll be there with you." I sighed, "But you can't be there _with me." "Darlin….I'll always be there with you." I shook my head, "No….Alice said….Rosalie might…We can't let Rose know." He nodded, "I know. It doesn't mean…..we'll figure something out." I nodded, my eyes getting sleepy. He carried me to bed, "Pyjamas?" I shrugged, pulling my jeans off to reveal boy shorts and my hoodie to reveal a tank. He coughed, and I thought he'd turned to face the corner on hearing my zipper. "Jasper? I still have clothes on." "I know darlin…but technically, they're undergarments, and I don't think I should see those just yet." I shrugged, we'd made out like high school kids, and he was afraid of my 'undergarments'? I let him tuck me in, and he kissed my head, whispering, "At least not until we're hitched." I looked at him, wondering if I was hearing things again, and smiled, pulling his face down to kiss me. _

_When I woke, Jasper's hand was on my stomach, the other resting on my face. I'd thrown some of the covers off during the night, my skin felt clammy. He kissed me, "Isabella, darlin', I don't think you're at all well." I began to shiver then, despite the fact that his cool hands felt refreshing on my skin. "Is Charlie gone?" He nodded, "Hours ago. Bella, it's almost noon." _

_JPOV_

_After I'd sent her to the shower to cool off, I called Carlisle. "I don't think she's well. She was feverish all night, and she's so pale even with the flush on her cheeks." Carlisle was quiet a moment, then spoke, in a measured voice, "You'll need to be careful son. Perhaps have Alice come over, she can help you bring her here." I sighed, he was right. If I just appeared from Bella's house having never entered, people would wonder. Especially if I just started to drive her truck, and she was slumped in the side seat. _

_Alice was wonderful. She got Bella dressed, then we took her out to Alice's car and went to the hospital. Alice glared at me, Bella was in my arms and murmuring her discontent at being carried like a baby. I whispered softly to her, "Bella….listen to me. It will stop soon, but please, just be quiet." _

_Carlisle spent a long time checking her, and then smiled, "She'll be fine. I think we should keep her here overnight, fill her full of some things she's missing, and she can go tomorrow. Alice, can you get me Charlie's number? And Jasper…..maybe you'd like to go and get Bella some pyjamas." I shook my head, "I don't want to…." Carlisle smiled at me, "Son, she's fine. We're here as well. Just go find her something she'll be comfortable in, and come back."_

_I ran as fast as I was able back to her home, not having the first idea where to look for pyjamas. True, I could have found you any pair of jeans or a shirt you'd asked me for, hiding in the closet had advantages. Sleepwear was different, and I hunted, hoping I'd come across some soon. There was something invasive about going through her things, without her here._

_With Bella's nightgown in my hands I raced back to Carlisle's office, to discover Bella had been moved to a private room. Charlie would be back soon to check on her, despite Carlisle's repeated reassurances, so I'd have to spend my alone time with Bella while I could. She looked so tiny and frail on the bed, whimpering in her sleep. I knew she'd been sedated, Alice said once I'd left they'd struggled to calm her, Carlisle has no other option. I sat in the chair by the bed and took her hand, kissing her fingers and whispering to her. For the first time, really ever, I was afraid she would leave me behind._

_BPOV_

_The room was dark when I woke, it wasn't my bed, but I knew the stony cold hand holding mine, so I whispered to him, "Jasper?" His eyes sprang open, "Yes Darlin?" "Where am I?" "Hospital. Carlisle wanted to keep you overnight. Would you like me to get Charlie?" I shook my head, "No….he should sleep, if that's what he's doing, he has work." Jasper looked at me with puppy dog eyes, I tried to smile, "Jazz, I'm fine. Really. Thankyou….for being here." I looked down at the nightgown I wore. I'd stashed it in my top dresser drawer for nights I was feeling dramatic, but somehow I knew Jasper would have assumed it was what I'd wanted. It was very 1800s, heavy fabric and embroidery, some lace trim, floor length. It was far too frilly for me just then, I'd really love to get my hands on some sweats. Hopefully, when I got to go home, Alice would indulge me. _

"_Isabella? Sugar? I'm sorry I took you out in the cold." I shook my head, "It's fine. I'm sorry I didn't think to wear more clothes." I looked around the room, and then, "Jasper? What time is it?" He pulled out a pocket watch from his jeans, glancing down, "About three am. You've been asleep almost twelve hours." I yawned at the simple mention of the hour, and he smoothed my hair off my face, "Isabella, darlin, sleep now. You need to rest. Alice is going to see what she can do about you coming to visit us for a few days." I nodded, half asleep already, a small smile on my lips at hearing the last few words. _

_I woke as Alice was dressing me, she'd already slipped me into a pair of what I was sure were designer sweat pants, and was now pulling a long sleeve tee gently over my head. She smiled, "Hi Bella. Jasper's talking to Carlisle, and Charlie's gone to work. With the hunting scare going on, he had no problem agreeing for you to come visit a few days." I smiled at her, "Alice, how did you convince him?" she grinned playfully, "There wasn't much convincing to be done. He asked if I would come stay with you at the house, because he has to go overnight tomorrow, and that was when Carlisle jumped in, and now you're going to come stay with us." I sighed, "I'm happy Alice, but it'll make things so much harder with….well….what if Rosalie…?" I looked up at her while she pulled my hair artfully into a ponytail and stuffed my arms into the matching sweats hoodie. "Bella, you should know by now, you just need to trust me. Everything will be fine, as long as you never spend the night in Jasper's room." I looked at her, and she smiled, "It will come up…..just don't." I nodded, eager to avoid any confrontation I could. _

_By the time Jasper returned, Alice had me in the car ready to go. Jasper would follow us to my house to pick up some clothes, and then we'd make the drive to the Cullen home. I felt my breath quicken as I thought about that. It was somehow more exciting thinking about being away from Jasper at night, than it was knowing he spent every night in my room._


	3. Chapter 3

JPOV

It was going to be difficult, Alice had warned me. I would have to watch my every move, especially if I wanted to keep Bella safe from Rose. That meant only spending the night with her when absolutely necessary, and trying to keep my hands to myself when she was around. I had a suspicion the hurt of that holding back alone would be far stronger than any hunger I'd had.

I took Bella's hand as we walked into the house, everyone else was out, and we walked up the stairs to our rooms. Alice had already claimed Esme's reading room as her own, Bella would sleep in the sunny and cosy bedroom Alice and Esme had added only recently, until that moment I'd never understood why. I opened the door with a flourish, and Bella's eyes were bright with happiness, "It's beautiful. Alice…you and Esme….how could you have known?" Alice smiled, "As dishonest as it was, I peeked in your design journal last year. Since then , I tried to work out if we should recreate your room at Charlie's, or simply start fresh in our home. That idea won.."

Bella kissed me, and then went straight to the window, looking down on the huge sweeping forest and lawns behind the house. Alice smiled, "I thought you'd like the view, it's where the boys play football." She blushed then, and I hugged Bella to me, "Darlin', I'm sure you'll find it very comfortable here." Alice nodded, "Maybe you'll never want to leave." Bella looked at her, "Alice? Are you feeling okay? Can you imagine Charlie's response if I never came home?" Alice grinned, "I have a feeling when the time comes he won't mind. Anyway, I'll leave you to it. I have things to organise and….." she glanced at her watch, "You have about an hour before anyone comes home." Just as she was leaving the room, she turned, smiling, and gestured to a narrow wood door in the wall, "That's the human room." Bella smiled, and then let me pull her into a snug embrace, my lips kissing the soft silken mass of hair atop her head.

BPOV

I was only wearing my tank top and sweatpants, jasper only his jeans, when he sprung up off the window seat and grabbed his shirt. "Rosalie" he said under his breath, and I sighed, flopping back onto the cushions behind me. I pulled my long sleeve tee back over my head, and looked at him with longing eyes, "Jazz…." He kissed me quickly, "I know darlin. For now…..we just have to contain ourselves."

That night passed by awkwardly. Jasper had suddenly discovered some work to do on his bike in the garage, and Esme had taken me under her wing in the kitchen, teaching me how to make fluffy omelettes. Alice had been at Rose all night to come with her to Seattle the next day for shopping, Emmett and Carlisle were playing some kind of mental puzzle game. Esme smiled at me, placing her hand gently on mine to stop me from whisking the eggs into froth, "Dear, things will be fine." I smiled at her, edgy, and she hugged me to her, "I'm glad you like your room." I nodded, "It's perfect. I'm just so surprised, it was a lovely thing to do." Esme beamed, "That's wonderful. It was nothing, really dear. We wanted to do it for so long, but only recently did Alice push for it to happen." I smiled, adding cheese and peppers to my egg whip.

Esme was such a beautiful lady, inside and out. I was lucky she cared about me. She hugged me to her then, as though she knew I'd been feeling a little reflective, and kissed my cheek, pushing my hair from my eyes as she stepped back, "You know Bella, you're one of us. We consider you part of our family." I smiled, "Not Rosalie." Esme laughed, "Rosalie too. She has an interesting way to showing it, but she'd offer help if you needed it." I smiled, and she hugged me again, "I'm so glad to count you among my babies." I felt a tear prick at my eye, and then two drops hit my cheeks. I looked at Esme, who seemed genuinely puzzled by my display, before letting her take me in her arms, making soothing noises to me and stroking my hair as I cried.

Jasper didn't take long. Almost as soon as Esme had begun to soothe me, he'd appeared in the kitchen, I felt the sudden jolt of relaxation hit me, and he looked at me first, then Esme, "What happened? Was it Rose?" Rosalie called from the lounge room, "Why would I upset the human? I'm not even in there. Not everything bad is my fault you know." Jasper growled quietly, and Esme patted his arm, "Go back to your bike Jasper. Bella and I were just having a women's talk." Jasper blanched at the mention of the words, soundlessly kissed my hand and left. Not a moment too soon, because Rosalie swished through to big double doors, looking at me, "Gees, you do look sad." I shrugged, dabbing my eyes with the handkerchief Jasper had given me days before, and she smiled, "You know, if you want, you can come to Seattle with us tomorrow. Kind of like….a get to know you trip." I sighed internally, knowing Alice had meant it to be just the two of them, so jasper and I could spend some time alone. I also knew that if I passed up an invitation from Rosalie, then I stood no chance in the future of getting her to like me. I nodded ,"I'd like that. Thankyou." Rosalie looked at the clock, "Well little human, if you are coming, you'd better get to bed. We're leaving early tomorrow." I nodded, seeing Jasper duck up the back stairs, knowing he was headed to my room. "I think that's a good idea, I'll take a shower, and then go to sleep. Goodnight everyone!" I said, heading upstairs. I knew they'd all heard me.

Jasper kissed me softly when I entered the room, and I looked at him, frowned, then pointed downstairs. He nodded, rebuked, and sat on my window seat, pulling the curtains closed behind him. I went into the bathroom, stunned by the elegance in there as well, and decided to take a bath, the tub was huge and inviting. I also figured it would give enough distraction if anyone had heard the second footsteps in my room.

After half an hour, I was toweling dry when Jasper knocked and called softly through the door, "Rosalie and Emmett have gone back to their cabin. You can come out when you're ready, I'll be here." I smiled, pulling my nightgown over my head and launched myself at him. He caught me, and we laughed as we fell back onto the bed. That night, I slept better than I had in a very long time.

In the morning, Alice was shaking me awake, glaring at Jasper who lounged beside me, wearing only his trousers from the night before. I blushed as I realized how odd the situation was, and then she dragged me out of bed, speaking softly to Jasper, "Go…she'll be here in five minutes. MY god, I TOLD you to be careful." I sighed, "I'm sorry Alice." She hugged me to her, "It wasn't you who I told it to. You've done nothing. Now get in the shower, and don't wash your hair." I looked at her curiously, and did as I was told.

When I came out, she'd laid out a pair of jeans on my bed, as well as a tank top, a long sleeve tee and a short sleeved hoodie, as well as the leather jacket I'd worn riding with jasper. She smiled at me then, "I had to let you have him somehow." I giggled, and then Rose appeared impatiently in my doorway. "Come on you two….it takes forever to get there driving."

APOV

While we were in Seattle, I could tell Bella's mind was elsewhere. Thank God Rosalie was so self centered, she didn't notice a thing. Not even when Bella's eyes brightened as I forwarded a text from Jasper to her, all she cared about was the next place we were headed. "So, Bella…..up for a change?" Bella looked from her to me ad back again, before nervously murmuring, "Change?" Rosalie nodded, so I began to talk, to reassure her, "Nothing drastic Bells. I just thought while we were here….you might like to have your hair done. You don't even have to have it cut, just…..done." Bella looked stunned, but I'd already seen she'd accept, and come home slightly different. Rosalie was less kind than I, she took Bella's hand and dragged her through the door of our salon, "Hi. Miss Isabella Swan? We have an appointment." Bella had gone pale, and I smiled at Rose, "Rose? Why don't you go get us some snacks?" I thrust fifty dollars at her, and then took a seat beside Bella, "Bells, you're okay. Honest. I promise nobody will make you do anything you don't want." She nodded at me, still uncertain, but looking more relieved since Rosalie had left.

BPOV

In that chair, after they'd washed my hair at the basin, I shook. Internally, knowing if I shook all over, noticeably, I'd end up with something awful. I had agreed to having my hair lightened a little, some layers, nothing drastic. Rosalie had been disappointed I didn't want to be a blonde like her, but Alice saved me by pointing out there were plenty more occasions for trying. That seemed to placate Rose, who sat reading gossip magazines while she waited. While my hair was twisted up in the coloring cap, Alice sneakily passed me her phone again, it was a text from Jasper, "Bella? Are they looking after you?" I smiled, "Yes. If I live to tell the tale, I'll tell you all about it. :P" Rosalie seemed disinterested as I read two more texts, the first, "Tell me and I'll come get you." followed by, "Enjoy yourself. You needed a break. Xxoo" but the third piqued her interest, "God Bella, who texts you on Alice's phone?" I blushed, and Alice filled in perfectly for me, "It's Charlie. Bella left her phone at home today." I reached into my pocket and silenced my cell, glad it hadn't given us away.

Alice dressed me with two outfits while we were out, a soft blue sundress and a deep green satin cocktail gown. I said nothing, she knew obviously that I would need those items at some stage.

Rosalie demanded we let her run home from Seattle, she wanted to meet Emmett halfway. I tried not to think about how many trees they might knock down together, and dabbed some gloss on my lips as we drove away. Alice grinned at me, "Nice. I'm teaching you….slowly, but it's going somewhere." I smiled, "Today, Alice, you can do whatever you like. I'm just grateful for your help." She smiled, "You know, with Rose and Emmett gone until lunchtime tomorrow, you and Jazzy are free to do whatever you'd like." I smiled; it stayed on my face until we reached the house.

I felt suddenly self-conscious as I walked to the front door, Carlisle was helping Alice with the bags, Esme was off doing something, somewhere. She'd been very vague lately when she'd taken off. Jasper was in his room, I knocked gently, not wanting to interrupt him as he read. His reaction made my face fall quickly, his jaw had dropped and he simply stared. I sighed, "Jasper Whitlock…..it'll grow back." He shook his head, and rushed to my side, where he scooped me up and lay me on his, until now, unnoticed bed. It was huge, and very masculine, dark wood and brocade.

"No, Isabella, you look….absolutely….stunning." I blushed, and he kissed me, "I've missed you, and I'll admit I sulked a little today, but….it was worth it to see this." I smiled, kissing him softly, he returned my kisses with an intensity I hadn't felt before. He pulled off my shirts one by one, kissing me in between, then, carefully, let me remove his. I tangled my hands in his hair, his were woven in mine, and our bodies were pressing tightly against each other. I blushed a little as I felt him harden against my leg, and he shifted, moving so I could no longer feel him. I smiled, fluttered my eyelashes, and took hold of his belt buckle, "It's okay…..it happens." He gently took my hand off his buckle, kissing me, and then sat back, "We should stop." I shook my head, "This isn't bad." He nodded, "Therein lies the problem darlin. It's so good I might not be able to stop." I sighed, nodding, then reached up and kissed him again. He smiled down at me, "We should go for a walk, or….something." I sighed again, flopping back against the bed, "okay. I guess."

I stood, picking up my coat from the floor, and he caught me in his arms, kissing my head, "Isabella…..it's not that I don't want to." He took a breath, "God….I want to. I just….it's not right Bella. I shouldn't be…..there are things that should be done first." I pouted, completely on the wrong course, "If we wait for Rosalie to find out about us, it'll be forever." When he didn't speak, I felt my eyes fill with tears, and I stamped my foot on the ground, "Or it could just be that you're entertaining yourself with me, and you don't want it to get messy. It's not like it'd be the first time I'd been used like that." I regretted my words as soon as they'd spewed forth, but there was no taking them back now.

I felt him pull me up straight in his arms, his voice firm as he spoke to me, "Isabella Marie Swan! You can be so infuriating! I love you, and I'm not filling in time with you. If I had my way, I wouldn't care what Rosalie had to say or do about it, but Alice said it would be bad for you if we weren't careful. I'm trying to do the right thing for you Bella." I let him pull me in against his chest, felt his breath on my hair, "I'm just an old fashioned guy, in love with a girl who is so much more worldly than I am in some ways, it's positively frightening sometimes darlin' ." I felt myself go weak in his arms, and then he scooped me up and sat with me on the edge of the bed, kissing my head, then my nose, then my mouth, stroking my cheek with his cool hand as he looked me in the eye, "Isabella, I never want to be without you. And, when the time is right, I want to ensure that in the most honest, respectful way I know how. Isabella….one day, I hope to make you my wife." I paled, I knew I did, before I'd even thought about it. His eyes looked hurt, and I was struggling to find my words.

Alice appeared just then, in the doorway, "Bella? Can you go downstairs and help Esme for a moment? It's rather urgent." I stood, reluctant to leave, but she smiled at me, "It's okay. Jasper will be down in a minute." I nodded, going down, calling as I went, "Esme? Where are you?" She laughed, "In the kitchen dear."

JPOV

I looked warily at Alice, "Saved by the bell." Alice laughed, "Oh Jasper, don't fret. Bella loves you just as much. I think….she just thinks she's hard to love like you love her." I shifted uncomfortably, "I think I may have said…." She shook her head at me, "No. You didn't, I just don't think Bella figured you would…I dunno….feel like that. Yet." I looked at her, and before I could ask, she'd grinned in answer, "She'll say yes Jasper, and she'll love the ring." She turned and left the room, and I smiled to myself. So….she'd say yes. That took some of the pressure off. And then, we could live together as man and wife, and I could stop trying to distract myself from Bella's appeal and beauty.


End file.
